playroom day 2 -toy walls

3 walls and the crop wall sans toys of course :)

playroom day 2 -closet

Closet with new self not quite fully stocked yet but its getting there...

playroom day 2 -purple stuff

wall mounts for the toys and the light and electric panel covers ...details are important!

playroom day 1 -walls

It could look better but i ran out of paint on the first coat but i think it will be ok espically if its dimly lit would look amazing with 2 or 3 coats. Still looks 100 times better than it did and look i managed to not get any paint on anything besides the walls! Must have got lucky....

playroom day 1 -edges

so far this is whats going on just finished cutting in took hours! More to come soon!

amazing weekend

I could write forever about the amazing weekend I had thanks to my Mistress. Though it wasnt filled with the cruel humiliation that I wanted it was still beyond amazing. It stared as my Mistress came home on friday she had just got her nails done also she was holding a fresh pack of diapers! As I kissed her feet I could feel how long they had become her long nails traced over my soft skin. Then I had the oppertunity to see them for the first time when serving her evening cigarette. I just gazed with awe at her beautiful inch long nails Mistress just had them do a french tip so that she could paint them i suggested Marlboro Menthol green the color of our favorite cigarettes. She agreed, We had quite a shopping list to begin our new play room and sissy maid quarters so off to the store we went. We got to wal mart and I felt very weird but Mistress was there to comfert me. I hadnt left the house in awhile so i just didnt feel right being out I suppose. We picked up some paint and other things we needed we called it an early night we were both excited to see our plans coming together so well. The next morning Mistress fed me my breakfast of her ashes then we were on our was to a community yard sale we saw a sign for the previous day. We still had out list and were looking for any odds and ends for our rooms. So many good deal we got right from the start including a new wig for me! They say you get the high of the buy when you get a good deal and that is very true especially for the cause it was going to though we still hadnt found an accent color for our dark gray playroom. Until we saw the deal of the day our first peice of play room funiture. A purple massage table ...it was perfect and it just so happened that we looked for one the previous day. We had to have it! As the day went on we made severl stops as our mini van got more full as the day went on and so did my diaper. Mistress bought me new long nails that were as long as hers as she was doing them her friends came over and boy was it imbaressing to be in boy mode with my long half painted nails. As they left Mistress made me kiss their feet which was amazing and I wasnt expecting it. Since they are both subs it was even better i was just out of it. Even the way Mistress said it "Kiss the girls feet before they go" it was so proper and firm of a command that I didnt even think twice about worshipping the 2 sub girls feet. Its little things like that i just adore! My chastity began to hurt pretty bad but I wasnt about to let that ruin our day. Later that night Mistress made me take a shower and I was going shave and everything but once i hit the water Mistress removed my cage for cleaning I felt a sharp and sudden pain. Mistress Carrie wanted to go out and take me to a local adult theater she was very excited and so was I. But the pain so so intense i couldnt get my cage back on and when i returned to the living room Mistress was alseep so I didnt want to disturb her. The next day Mistress wanted to try the theater again so I shaved and got dressed but I didnt feel right at all I didnt feel like a girl and part of me was scared to be femmine because of how Mistress get when I am all dolled up. She cant treat me right she is very nice to me i dont feel like a slave. I told her I didnt feel like going she didnt seem to care what I thought which was awesome. She forced me to dress then she even forced me to smoke it was really hot and i enjoyed every min of it! But eventually she gave in and invited me on the bed after I was all dressed and she had done my make up. I have watched so many tutorials on doing makeup esically eye shadow but I can never make my self look like she makes me look. So it think i get discouraged espically if I am going to meet a guy. I suggested that we have somone come to us because I know how bad she wanted to see me used. So she placed an ad as I tidied up the house. The first response wasnt very promising so as a joke I said 25 bucks Mistress and I have a fantasy of her pimping me out. I dont think either of us ever thouht it would happen. But he agreed I think the risk that he could have been a cop was even more of a thrill for me than watching my Pimpstress collect his money. There was a knock on the door i opened it and pulled him in. Quickly dropped to my knees and wrapped my long pink nails around his cock and began to service it as Mistress took photos. She was loving this. I put a condom on and begged for him to fuck my pussy I wanted to show Mistress how good I could take a cock. The man was having alot of trouble getting hard it kind of made me feel insecure but once he was in me I felt alot better. He fucked for a few mins but didnt seem to be enjoying himself as much as I was. He left with out feeding me his seed which really sucked I have never had that happen before. I am a total cum junkie . After he left Mistress was very horny so I was lucky enough to fuck her I moved her diaper asside and stuck my clit in and lit a cigarette she degraded me until she had an orgasm then to my surpise to me to get off her and masturbated as i knelt and finshed my cigarette. Then she stuck my purse on her diaper and instructed me to hump it this was so hot and even better as I lay there like patheitc sissy humping my purse she just rolled her eyes and looked super bored with was SO AMAZING it was so belittleing that i  was so beyond honry i didnt even care about humping anymore I was sent right into subspace. I got off her and went to bed on the floor such an amazing end to an amazing weekend.

the projects

Mistress Carrie I would like to thank you for and some amazing play time last night. Your idea to give me a enema with your urine was amazing and to do it in from of people was even better even though it was on cam your ability to act on impulse and be creative is amazing, Creativity is such an important part of humiliation.  You were very mean and degrading and strict during the process it was a wonderful and humbling experience. The best part was when you forced your cock into my un trained pussy with a bowl full of your piss. You heard my screams and disregarded them in favor of amuseing yourself ,the people watching and making me suffer to show my devotion. It was very painful but it didnt matter I didnt want it to end I was empowered that you didnt care that it hurt me you knew that I wasnt going to be seriously injured and I trusted you. Then you pulled out of my pussy far to soon and had me suck your piss my my shit off your perfect big black cock I was in extacy and I worshipped it and you degraded me. Then the iceing on the cake you had me shit my piss enema into the pitcher. This was very surprising to me all that was going though my head was how amazing it was to follow your instructions. Because for the first time in a while I knew better than to disobey or try to comprmise I felt as if something would happen, as if I would be in trouble if I didnt do what you said with out question and that is how it should be no talking just doing. As i shit out my mess I imagined that you would put in backin side me filling me back up with the gross mixture but then even more to my surprise you fed the tube to me and open the nozzle and let the mixture into my mouth and I struggled to swallow and keep up with the flow with out getting sick. The only bad thing was that you stopped before i finished my treat. It was a great night!

This weekend should be amazing we finally get to set up the play room and the slave room. Which i have been waiting to do since we moved in. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself, I am very project oriented person I get such gratification in seeing the result of work and planning, I love seeing it all come together. It has been many years since I have had a play room in my house and I have so many ideas on how to improve it from my last one. I have been looking at playroom and dungeon furniture all day and wheels are just turing so much. Rarely do i write stuff down but there is so much stuff to get and so many ideas I have I had no choice but to jot it all down. Some idea are speakers that mount on the wall running to the living room computer for clear sound I want to make an itunes play list for it. Mistress had the idea to get magnets for the webcam and have them mounted a diffrent spots in the room so you can move the cam with ease. One solution that will be kind of like looking to see what we can find is how to hang the toys. Mistress had a really good idea to use grid wall and S hooks which sounds awesome if we can find stuff for good prices. I have some diffrent ideas on how to hang them aswell but we will see how it turns out as this is an intrugual part of the room. I am eager to go to goodwills and find storage like small book selfs and things to put in the closet to put things on then we can move the table where all the toys are into the kitchen give us more space to sit stuff in there. I really would love to paint the playroom or cover all the walls somehow because it just doesnt look right in my head the color it is Mistress is pretty fed up with the landlords so maybe I can talk her into it lol. I am very very excited to set up the slave room which is a small room in our attic that will be my bedroom. Mistress wants to paint is pink which i fully agree I want to put all the cleaning supplies up there and the vacum broom and such so that its just like a janitor closet. No one has really done anything like having a slave quarters espically one so pathetic. Its so awesome I am going to take so many photos of it!

The follow photos were required of me to take for Mistress Carries amusement...

inception

Mistess Carrie put me down to sleep last night in my dog bed on the floor the chain connecting to her bed was locked to my collar and then I laid down it took about 10 mins and I fell asleep. I am not sure how long i slept before i knew it was awake. My mind racing as i struggle to fall back asleep thinking of all kinds of things in never seemed to stop. When i tried to sleep my hole body got tingly like i was drunk I couldnt shake that feeling every time i closed my eyes it happend. So I tried to adujest my mind and focus on one thing to try to calm the pace. I imagined sitting in the attic in my slave room pink walls surrounding me Mistress had written degrading things all over the wall as decoration in her best hand writeing. I was surrounded by my cleaning supplies my collar chained to the wall. Then i realized i was asleep I could feel eyes twitching from rapid eye movement I was then able to be aware I was alseep and I could control the dream suddenly I was looking at my self in the mirror on the wall of my pathetic room. I look in the dog bowl and see urine i am thristy i begin to lap it up then I see my nails and they are long and baby pink perfectly manicured then i woke up again. I struggle for what seems like forever to fall asleep again then I finally do and I had one of the best dreams I have ever had. There is a member of our community that we make fun of alot in fact its a couple Chris and Cristy oddly enough i just found the humor in that. Mistress invites them over for dinner I am dressed in my sissy maid uniform. Before they arrive Mistress tells me that this is for my humiliation training to show me how pathetic I am and that even this couple who is a joke in our community are my superiours and they will be treated as such. She tells me that she expects me to fully respect them and she will accept nothing less.  Then she puts her cigarette out on my eager tongue just then there is a knock on the door and it is the couple. I hope the door, curtys and take Miss Cristys purse. I offer them drinks the complement how cute I look and I respond "thank you Miss Cristy thank you Sir, may I get you something to drink?" they say yes and I curtsy and walk off to the kitchen I return with drinks on a serving tray put the tray down and kneel and serve the guests their drinks as they are socializing Mistress tells me to go check on dinner. I return with everones meal on a tray I kneel and serve the plates one by one. Then take my place and my owners side when everyone is done Mistres takes all the plates and scrapes the scraps into my dog bowl and commands me to eat I say thank you Mistress and put my face in the bowl devouring the scraps. Mistress tells them that she only allows me to eat her scraps so 3 peoples is a big meal for me. She then commands me to clean up i curtsy and take the plates to the kitchen and return and refill everyones drinks. Then she tell me to put a movie on which I quickly do. I then they are decide to smoke I am eager fumbleing for my ligher in my apron. Miss Christy smokes marloboro menthol lighs but not 100s.  I fetch Mistress's cigarettes the takes the pack from my mouth and slides one out I light hers then Miss Christys the Sirs. Mistress tells me to kneel in the center and commands into nadu. As I kneel there the 3 of them are socialzing and causaly useing me for an ashtray for all 3 of them. Which is would be amazing except that Sir doesnt smoke cigarettes i really care for but Mistress Carrie doesnt seem to care she seems to know my only use is to serve superiours. After all 3 cigarette butt are put out on my tounge Mistress commands me to spit and then tell me that I will be spending the remainder of the movie with Sirs cock in my mouth so I kneel in front of him and take is cock out and begin to suck for what seems like forever as Mistress and Miss Christy chat and smoke Sir cums just in time for me to recive thier cigarette butts. Then after the movie they head home when they are gone Mistress informs me this experince was to humble me and that even white trash is superiour to me in every way and I am nothing but property. She infroms me that I will be let out to them from time to time that I can go clean their trailer and see how much better even they live than what I deserve. Then I woke up again and obsessed over the dream it was so vivid like it was actually happening now I keep having fantasy of serving Miss Christy so she can treat me like the peice of shit that I am.

former journal

I had to start a new journal page for various reasons but I wanted to post a link to my old one so that it is not forgotten. property of Mistress Carrie it is good to be Mistress's property again I feel so right at her feet i just adore it and she was pretty mean to me last night tell me not to speak and things like that little things that I have often taken for granted. But I am once again in my proper place i hope that it lasts this time. No matter what i do in my life or what role I play nothing feels better then serving her. I feel that some changes need to be made from the past in order for me to serve her properly but I would like to think we are on the right track. I am sad to say that I am not sure if I will ever be able to be her sissy again because my femininity seems to throw her off quite a bit which is a real shame because its a very big part of who I am but an even bigger part of who I am is her property.