My speech for bluegrass leather pride Master slave contest

Many people have preconceived notions about what it means to be a slave, some even fear the word because of what they assume. I to was one of these people. I thought a slave was someone who lived on their knees at the beck and call of their Mistress and was locked in cage when not in use.

I am not naturally submissive nor to I concider myself very submissive at all. I am stubborn, passionately opinionated, I dont like being told what to do and on more than one occasion I have put my foot in my mouth because I let my ego get the best of me. Some dont understand how someone can be a slave but not be submissive and I recently read an analogy that sums it up quite well...

"its like seeing a big male alpha dog who is kept in a tight leash and pinch collar. Most of the time they obey their owner, because their owner puts in the work to ensure to that they do"

Now being a slave is something I take great pride in but there was a time when I had no idea what that ment a time when I would just play the "internet game" so to speak. Because it allowed me to live out my fantasy and still be in control. I have asked many people how they discoved they were slave most can remember the exact moment it clicked for me all I had to do was let go of myself and trust that my Mistress would catch me and the chance was very organic. I went from being a strong person who was pretending to be a submissive to a strong slave with out even realizing it. Now I feel at my best when following the rules and protocols set by my Mistress. I know though my service I become an even stronger person.

cage

I got to spend the night in my new cage last night it was awesome pretty cramped but awesome. I should have told Mistress that ever little movement in there will make alot of noise. Because she has trouble sleeping anyway I am sure that did not help. I loved going out dressed yesterday it made me want to strive to be that much more girly Mistress seems to much prefer me as a girl I would like to start dressing full time for her if possible. I love being and feeling girly she seems to be sweeter to me when I am a girl and that is about the only drawback :(. I was also so happy to hear of so many Dommes that submit to men and still have slaves because that was far and beyond a fantasy of mine it is a shame that i have never seen a Dom worthy of my Mistress by any stretch. Which is a shame because she is a wonderful sub and follows directions and rules wonderfully but not a man on the planet could own her anymore.Hot fantasy though.

iWill improve

The tighter Her grip on me the better I dont want to be a casual slave I want to have the up most manners at all times.
I will speak only when spoken to when Mistress is around others I want them to see that I am not there for anyother reason than to be a servant. Every person that i interact will be Sir or Ma'am at all times.
I will go out of my way to serve others at all times. I want to make my Mistress look amazing by being the most well mannered slave i possible can be the most helpful and perfect slave I have lost this by thinking it is ok to be friendly because I am social but i realized this weekend that is no longer my role friends are not something I need I need my Mistress. I see people to focused on themselves and not enough on the one that matters and I will not fall into that rut.
I will no longer speak before my Mistress during a conversation unless expressed permission is give to open my mouth weather or not Mistress said something i felt that needed to be covered. If She did not cover it than I will put in in the back of my brain and send that person an email covering what I feel she did not or speak to them at a later time when I am dismissed.
 I will never curse because that makes a slave look bad it is bad manners and makes my Owner look bad. I see malha put her foot in her mouth all of the time even right in front of Mistress during a conversation and I know that i am guilty of the same thing and I will not let that happen any longer. At this time in my life my slavrey is of the upmost importanece me to ntohing else even comes close this is all that matters in my life. I must try hard to make it amazing to constantly progress the journey of Mistress Carrie and I. I belive elagance is important in an owner and manners and attentiveness very important in a slave. I believe that appearances do go a long way this is a concept that I used to not care about. But now because it is so important I observe more bad behavior and bad eddicate but I rarely see it from people who I respect and that is who I strive to be because as I said this is who I am now I am not what I once was but reborn a slave.
I will no longer half ass my life as Her servant.
I will understand that I am to have the upmost respect to everyone weather i like them or not I will not speak bad about them unless in complete private.
I will take the upmost pride in completeing every task I am given. I should not suggest why or why i should not do things. Eventhough at times Mistress seems to not think Her orders through it cannot hurt anything to do as I am told or at least put the effort into doing so.
I will wake up every weekday at 6 am to start Mistress's Coffee take my diet pills put my uniform on and begin my day I want my Mistress to wake up and start Her day right i want her to wake up feeling fresh and like Her day is no big deal. I will not fight to wake up I will wake up with a positive outlook on the day ahead. I will look forward the night before to the sound of the alarm waking me at an early hour to properly start the day of a slave. I want my Mistress to not have to wait on her coffee in the morning.
slave will never ever again complain about any situation what so ever to Mistress directly that is what its blog is for. slave will not care about being bored in the daytime or the evening it is here to be of service if it is bored it will ask if it can clean or do something productive otherwise it has no right to complain about idle time because there is ALWAYS something that can be done.
when being punished or hit in anyway sissy will show gratitude by thanking You and ask for another at all times. I will mantain composure and allow You to do what You wish with or to me when during punishment when the request for more is denyed slave will quickly adore Mistress feet to show gratitude for any act. It will not discourage You in anyway from anything there are no limitations what so ever no matter what fear there is pain is always tempory the pride in service is forever Mistress should never be inhibited from enjoying the ownership of Her property.

it is Mistress i love seeing them in my purse as I get my powder or lipstick to make sure my makeup is perfect for You. I love everything about being a fulltime sissy but my mindset is always wrong and that is changing thank You for waking me up today Mistress I adore coming to realizations. You prefer me to be femme that is what i should be. I would remember it was alot of work to prepare for you because i was so lazy now i eagrly welcome the ritual of waking up going to my room to prepare myself for You and putting my unifrom on my heels and wig maybe i will wake up at 5 so that i can shower and shave for the day so that my cufs can be locked on and short restrictive chain can be attached so my uniform cannot come off and my day is restricted my nice heavy collar and restrictive movement
slave ashe: remindes me through out the day that I am a servant
slave ashe: i have decided that if i am to eat in your presence I will present you my dog bowl as it serve more purpose than just humbleing me it forces me to eat much slower in turn filling me up faster. It also easily controls the protions of food that are eaten. If something is done to the food such ash being chewd up or having shit piss cigarette buts or mixing it with dog food anything that will make it less apptiseing will help my diet. Otherwise i will eat Your leftovers in the kitchen where no one can see i will do so quickly as to attend to Your needs and the needs of Your guests. This will help control Your portions because at times You will be concious of my hunger and I know You well enough to know that You will not allow me to starve even if it means sacrificeing Your own hunger.
slave ashe: I realize now that by restricting my self You will better be able to restrict and control me just like i did with my ashtray protcol it is now second nature to us both.


I have gained alot of weight and it stems mostly from my laziness this must stop it is in no way conducive of the figure of a sissy and makes my Mistress look bad in the process because I find my self spening my weekdays doing nothing but eating doing a short list of chores and not doing them well and waiting until the last min to do them. That shows no pride in my work and that is not good. I need to diet I need to excersize they say that excersize is a wonderful cure for depression and if that is infact what is casueing my laziness excersize and a clean envrioment is a good way to combat it. I need to lose weight I want to be the exact weight a female should be at my height. Exercise is also a great way to get energy and will motivate me to do my chores.

I will do my chores to completion I have note cards with detailed instructions on them and they do not get use there is no excuse why they should not be done every single day. I am going to make sure to follow through and complete them. Mistress is not here to motivate me i need to be my own motivator. She should not have to give any cleaning instructions other than the ones that are special the cards speak for themselves every day I will complete them.
I will do laundry every single day and I will not let Mistress's bras become so beat up bras and panties will be washes by hand and hung to dry I will not let her live like that. I will not allow her to struggle to find clothes. She dread that we do not have a dryer she should not even notice it should not effect her in anyway. I will look at hanging clothes as a prideful task that just makes my service that much more important.

Just as people who inspire be a better slave when I see people who are just "doing it wrong" it also motivates me to be better and better. malha had told me that she does not naturally submit to women and she needs a dom man in her life. I often feel the same way I struggle with the submission i feel to a man and wish often that I was owned by one. But then I remember the amazing connection i share with my Owner and best friend and wonder how on earth I could have thought anything different. A wise man said "One day you will find someone that comes into your life that makes you realize that you could not succeed with anyone else. You just have to be patient." That is great advise that has always worked for me. Because I have found that person that I know I truly could not live with out. This has more to do with the power exchange that we share than people realize. They think that just because we are in love and that we think alike and share so much that we would be together no in a Master slave dynamic but that is not true She is my Master and i Her slave and that is more beautiful than any normal relationship could ever bring.

bored

I cannot get her so show a single ounce of authority i did like 1000 things that i should have been punished for she would rather risk not being respect at times than to start a possible argument to me that is weak. How am i suppose to show the respect to a person that is more concerned with being my freind than my owner. I am very hard to control and most of the time i feel like i am being submissive by my own drive nothing more. I can never get her to be strict and demanding. She asked what would make me happy being a slave would make me happy even if just for a day. my perfect life would be an object to serve cut off completely when not being of some use locked away until needed again.Espically as a maid not speaking unless spoken to ust having days full of high protocol situations. Lock away when not in use taken out when something needed done. Punished when something is wrong even the slightest little thing. She has never been much a of displinarian because she cant focus on one thing for to long and because she doenst have much attention to detail. Also because when it comes to her slaves she wants them to think she is their friend not owner because that is who she is naturally.  But i see that i can never have that with her or that it is an unrealistic goal and that is fine its a nice fantasy. I guess i am just bored with my submission i want to adventure  i do the same thing day in and day out and its never how i pictured myself. I feel like if i can just be the slave that she wants then she will put more and more into her role and into me aswell but that never seems to happen. Its like i put so much in and get little back.Then i just break down and my mind wanders all over the place.  I guess I am just being unreal but i swear i pictured it different..

set in our ways

its strange how we evolve, I recall a time when everything that we did had some effect on my training. Everything was somehow connect to my slavery, if Mistress took at bath i gave it to Her now Mistress likes to read in the tub. I have become far more lazy I used to look forward to waking up and cleaning Mistress's house or doing my chores for the day now i dread them. Unless Malha is here then I try to set the best domestic example i can for her. I can remember only being allowed to crawl unless I was carrying something, haveing to walk in public with my hands behind my back. I remember only being allowed to eat out of a dog bowl. I remember the creative ways Mistress would play and punish me. Like she had such a passion to play with Her new toy. Now we have a lifetime to grow and things always seem to be changing sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse but I love being Her slave and I miss Her everything she isnt around.

cbt

I am starting to really enjoy pain again especially cbt it been a long time since my pain tolerance has even been worth mentioning. But Mistress tired my balls up nice and right last night and squeezed and hit them on and off for an hour taking a sort break when she would beat me to tears. But with each slap I just wanted more I actually asked for it harder wich i have not done in a long time. It was a great moment to know that I may be back to myself sometime. Below are the results of that cbt. Also added my beautiful sisters blog to the links side of the page because i enjoy reading her thoughts and sometimes its a pain to find it.

Leather as a lifestyle (a research assignment)

This is an assignment I was told to write by Mistress Carrie it is something that seems easy enough to do until you actually do it. It is because the leather community is so shrouded that I am eager to learn about it. But i find efforts to do so very disheartening and it seems there isnt really any right answers but there are plenty of wrong ones. That is what makes writing on this subject so hard so I did what I could what what I had.

Leather history is a relatively untapped field of study, at both the academic and non-affiliated scholarly levels. The Leather Archives and Museum have the most focused collection, but they are still working to catalog their holdings. They are doing a great job of it, but it takes time. Relatively few scholars - academic or otherwise - have tapped their collection for serious study. There are a few collector/researchers who are actively working to gather, preserve, and study ephemera related to the history of the lifestyle, but only a tiny number of them have done much to share their findings with others. Since Leatherfolk had to be secretive about their practices in the past, they rarely published anything about the lifestyle, and their personal papers were often destroyed upon their deaths (by friends). AIDS killed off so many of the old Leathermen that it is difficult to gather oral histories that go back further than the 70s. Given this, ephemeral material (newsletters, personal letters, flyers, posters, etc.) is vitally important in the study of the history of Leather, but is also difficult to gather.

As far as the values that the leather community holds close it seems to be different for everyone. Though there are some things that I have read that I feel to be a good summary. Leather can be about building community and family, about tradition - tradition meaning building on what was laid out before, not necessarily blindly following.

It can be about service by both Tops and bottoms, service to others, service to Family, service to the Leather community, service to society as a whole. Almost every leather group I've seen has a charity (or charities) they support through fundraisers and other efforts. 

It can be about character. Call it what you will, Honor or what not, it boils down to being respectful of yourself and others, maintaining integrity and honesty in dealing with yourself and others, accepting personal responsibility for your own words and deeds, establishing and maintaining an attitude of humility (humbleness, not embarrassment) even when achieving great things. It means acknowledging the contributions others make in your life, be they Top or bottom. 

But it can be so much more for some people it is things like high protocol and old guard. For some people its just some shiny cow hide that smells good. I think for me personally it means that you are take the lifestyle in a very serious fashion. Your slave are held to higher standards as is the owners. It seems to be a group that you have to earn respect in rather than just become accepted in. For example it is bad form in the leather community to wear leather that was not gifted to you or that you did not earn for the Men in this lifestyle it is not just fashion it is something they that ver seriously and expect you to aswell and i completely respect that. Some dont wear leather at all and just ascribe to the values of the community. One of my favorite things about the Leather community is that they take it seriously its not a game to them. Their values and lifestyle they hold very near and dear to their hearts and with the newer breed of people trending into BDSM it is very nice to see people that stay true to who they are.  They may seem un-welcoming at first but i think once the respect is earned that they are truly a supportive part of the BDSM community.

I took some time and I looked around for leather recourses around Ky and outside of ones that we already know I cant really find anything. I suppose out best resources for anything Leather related are those that are closest to home such as Master Kristina who is always there for us and I am sure will be more than happy to offer sound well thought out advise as she has much experience in this lifestyle and is a good understanding friend. 

Ms Constance who really know everything there is to know about the Leather community and is a very well respected member of it and seems to be very supportive in the efforts of new comers into it. She has a lot of advise to offer and is someone I respect in this lifestyle for all that she has done. 

I am probably the last person that should be writing a paper on something i truly do not well understand. But it is something I am attracted to Its because of the earned respect that makes me want to strive to earn it. I always believed respect is something that should not just be given. I want to win a leather title because it is an opportunity to be able to teach about the dynamics in a Master slave relationship both to educate the newer people that are scared to be a slave or have pre conceived notions about what a Master and slave are. Aswell as for those who are in a Master slave relationship to see some things we do in our everyday lives that help contribute to who we are as a couple. To offer another perspective to problem solving and many other aspect important to a power exchange. 

Like I said i really am no authority on the subject given to me my best advise is to consult the Leather lifestyle group on feet read the threads and get info. Mistress is much better at retaining information from reading than I am that is why i encourage her to read and do research on things because I just have so much trouble comprehending written word sometimes.